Monday, July 28, 2008

Post-Partem Depression

I am having a little trouble with post-tour depression today. It happens every year. It is a kind of withdrawal that I go through. It's a good thing I am not inclined to try harder drugs, because this is rough enough. I just don't know what to do with myself. But, I just discovered a new sport that might hold me over and help me get off my addiction to foreign bicycle racing. No, it's not mixed martial arts, it's called Red Sox baseball and it's a lot like the Tour de France.

First, there are frequent commercial breaks where the same adverts are repeated ad nauseum between the all too frequent self-promotional flogging of the host channel's other programming. I have a hard time believing all that promotion for Tap Out is going to pay dividends among the cycling aficionados. And I am now more sure than ever that I will never purchase a Cervelo or a Saab. On the other hand, I have a hankering for a Mojito right now. I liked that one every time I saw it. If they would cut out the part with the smarmy bartender, I would probably be drunk as a skunk on Mojito's right now. I like the Amsterdam ad on Red Sox games too. I want to go back there soon if only to meet the old guy who says "Ladies and Gentlemen, let's begin" in Dutch.

Also, this baseball thing, like the TdF, is usually only available on obscure cable networks except on the weekends when it sometimes makes an appearance on the big networks. Just like Phil and Paul at the TdF, there are two very good announcer/commentators (Remy and Orsillo) and a cast of not so good wannabees, especially on the big networks. Who was that breathy commentator on CBS's weekend coverage of the TdF? I hated him. He made everything sound oh so melodramatic but obviously knew nothing. The Tim McCarver of bike race commentary.

It seems that stimulants and steroids are common in both sports and the authorities are finally catching wise in hopes of saving what is left of their reputations. But there is no need to worry, the fans were willing to turn a blind eye for years, they will come back once the appearance of propriety is restored.

They play almost every day with only an occasional day off to annoy us addicts and make us appreciate them all the more when they do play.

As observed by George Carlin, we don't know when a baseball game is going to end, but it somehow fits into a three-hour broadcast, just like the TdF.

That's all I got for now. Feel free to add your own in the comments (please comment, it's lonely here all by myself without Phil Liggett, Paul Sherwen and Bob Roll).

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